The psychology of anger

Anger is always proportionate to desire

The psychology of anger is that you wanted something, and somebody prevented you from getting it. Somebody came as a block, as an obstacle. Your whole energy was going to get something and somebody blocked the energy. You could not get what you wanted. Now this frustrated energy becomes anger — anger against the person who has destroyed the possibility of fulfilling your desire.

You cannot prevent anger, because anger is a by-product, but you can do something else so that the by-product does not happen at all. In life, remember one thing: never desire anything so intensely as if it is a question of life and death. Be a little playful. I am not saying, don’t desire — because that will become a repression in you. I am saying, desire — but let your desire be playful.  

You can repress desire for some bigger desire, and you may even forget that you are still the same person. You have only changed the target. But as far as you are concerned nothing has changed. And if anything can be created which disturbs your desire, again the anger will flare up. And this time it will be far bigger, because now the desire is far bigger. Anger is always proportionate to desire.

Why you get angry? You get angry only when somewhere, somehow, someone creates an hindrance. Your desire is obstructed. You get angry. You have a desire to reach, to do, to achieve something. Whosoever comes in between your desire appears to be your enemy. You want to destroy him. This is what anger means: you want to destroy the obstacles.

So the first thing is let your desire be playful.  Then half of the possibility of anger is dropped; the base is dropped. You may drop desires, but anger will still persist. It will not be so forceful, but it will persist because it is now a habit. To get rid of this habit, do constant inner effort.

Just start thinking about yourself at ease — nothing special; not that you are meant to be victorious, not that you have to succeed always in every situation. This is a big world and we are small people. Once this settles in your being then everything is acceptable. Anger disappears, and the disappearance will bring you a new surprise, because when anger disappears it leaves behind it tremendous energy of compassion, of love, of friendship.

One has to be very much aware. You should not try to stop anger. You should not, in any way, keep the anger controlled, otherwise it will burn you, it will destroy you. What I am saying is: you have to go to the roots. The root is always some desire which has been blocked, and the frustration has created the anger. 

Don’t take desires very seriously.

Don’t take anything seriously.